Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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