An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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