You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
