You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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