She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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