she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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