at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
