The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
