Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
