ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
