"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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