Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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