Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
