waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
