do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
birth control should be required to get into college
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
