New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is Oprah even human
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
