dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
