She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
zippers are such a cool invention
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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