Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
