what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
