hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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