Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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