Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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