Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
