is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize