I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
