This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Mom said you looked used
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
