I hate your face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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