i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish you could order shots online.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
