This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
