It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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