i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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