Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
is it fun? or sober?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
