I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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