some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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