You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
