That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
