oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
