I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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