Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
