Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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