Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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