how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
