I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
