it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
