drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize