So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
