Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want to be your penis for a week.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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