quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
