Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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